Friday, October 30, 2009

Friday, October 2, 2009

Every time a child is born, a mother is born as well.

Zion, you gave me the most wonderful birthday gift today. I have been doing the whole “what were Daddy and I doing a year ago right now?” for a few days. I love that we are planners, but that you threw a wrench into our routine, starting with the baby-making charade, pregnancy…and our beloved labor and delivery. Hands down, the event that has changed us most, and made me a fierce, passionate Mama, was the day we welcomed you home. There is a part of me that was born on September 29th, 2008 that has forced me to be more honest, more loving, more argumentative, and more real than I had ever been.
The morning of your first birthday, Daddy had to work, so off we went to Stroller Strides. After playing with friends, you were ready for a nap when we returned home at 11:30. You fell asleep almost instantly as I held you in my arms and nursed you. As I placed you in your crib, I was a bit sad, realizing that we wouldn’t spend the moments surrounding your birth, 12:37 in the afternoon, cuddling and remembering.
I have never abided by everyone’s advice to nap while you’re napping. I think I’d just lay there and fixate on everything I should be accomplishing…like a shower that usually comes waaaaaay too late in the as it is! As soon as I could see that you were resting contentedly, I turned on the water to shower and left the door open so I could keep an eye on you in your crib. A warm breeze flowed through the house; I closed my eyes and as I shampooed my hair, was easily brought back to the feeling of complete calm while I was pushing you out. As I opened my eyes, I was greeted by your sweet smile and brilliant blue eyes gazing at me. I am not sure how long it took me to notice that you were awake, did you know that I was day-dreaming of you, of us?
I scooped you up, held you close, and crawled into bed. I hummed to you, rocking you gently. I fed you from my body, skin to skin, so warm, so delicious. I did not speak one word to you as you grinned at me with your eyes (you get that from your Mama) and you tenderly drifted to sleep once more in my arms. I glanced at the time; 12:37…thank you, Zion. Happy Birthday, to us both.